There’s a misconception about Canadians that circulates worldwide.
That misconception is that Canadians never get angry.
I assure you, we do.
As a matter of fact, the more I think about an encounter that I had the other day, the madder I get.
That’s right – plain and simple, mad.
The word ‘angry’ just doesn’t seem to capture the rolling boil that has been churning inside of me for days.
Here’s what happened: I was prowling about the bookshelves of the Toronto Reference Library when I met a student from the Ukraine.
We struck up a casual conversation, and she asked me if I knew what the expression, “snowflake” meant.
Someone called her a “snowflake” on the bus that morning, and she was confused because she didn’t see any snow on the ground.
I looked at her in disbelief.
I wish I could have told her that snowflake meant a beautiful and unique design formed when water freezes and crystallizes.
But she already knew that wasn’t the intended meaning. The nasty undercurrent came through loud and clear.
The term “snowflake” has evolved into a derogatory word on social media.
It is an insult and a putdown.
It refers to an overly-sensitive person who is easily offended.
It also means that a person is conceited or perhaps feels like they are entitled to special treatment or consideration.
What makes me particularly furious is that these types of slurs are tossed around so easily, without understanding the challenges or obstacles that a person may be experiencing on a daily basis.
Some human beings are so full of venom that they just can’t help themselves.
Perhaps they hate a person’s culture or gender or values and therefore, this built-in prejudice automatically becomes a reason to dislike a person.
What was said to the Ukrainian student was nothing short of despicable.
It was a vile, nauseating smear, made more so because the coward uttering the word knew that she probably would not understand what it meant.
I have no doubt that the student was thrown into confusion after the word was uttered, not knowing how to respond or if she should respond.
I suppose I’ve become roused by the student’s encounter because it brings back memories of my brother being bullied as a child.
He is autistic. He would come home from school with black and blue bruises on his legs.
In the third grade, older boys would intentionally trip him as he walked up or down the stairs almost every day.
It happened a long time ago, and thankfully, he’s grown into a strong-minded man.
But the images of the bruises don’t just go away.
Broken and bruised spirits take years to heal. Sometimes, they never do.
If you’re the victim of verbal abuse or any type of bullying, here’s what you should remember:
- People who commit verbal abuse, name-calling included, are dealing with their own mental health issues. They are often angry, toxic people who are lashing out because they are unhappy with their own lives. They need to call other people names to make themselves feel better.
- Name-calling is unacceptable. It is NEVER okay. It is intentional and designed to hurt a person’s self-esteem and sense of self.
- If you understand what the abuser is saying, never respond in kind. You may feel the natural desire to say something hurtful back to the abuser, but it’s better to walk away from the situation, if you are given the opportunity to do so.
- Slurs and putdowns are shameful. They are not representative of Canadian society at large. Most people do not go around name-calling and spewing filth on the streets of Toronto. Those that do misrepresent our wonderful city. They should be ignored.
- It is okay to ask for help.
